Most girls know what I'm talking about...yes, that would be my emotions that are way out of control. Obviously, the stress that I am under and have been feeling for the past 2 months is starting to get to me. I have cried more this past week than in a long time. Not fun. I have never worked so hard for anything in my life, yet I feel like I am going blind into these tests and that I don't know anything. Academics have always been easy to me, and I sailed through highschool and undergrad. Hardly lifted a finger. Not so here. It seems like everything I am reading/studying is going in my brain for a millisecond and then leaving. I can't recall much of anything at this point. I will be sooo glad when this is all over!
To add onto this stress, I realized this past week that I will never step foot in the house that I grew up in again. My parents have been building a new house for a while now, and I knew that the time would come that it would be time to leave, but it came faster than I was expecting. I have no time to go home now due to all the studying and it being crunch time (6 1/2 days!). My parents move on Friday and I will never see the inside of the house that I love so much again. I know its just a material object, but there are thousands upon thousands of memories that I have made there. So I've cried about that part too this week.
And yet one more thing---the job hunt. After working so hard for this degree, I am finding it hard to locate a job that will be worth all the hard work and studying. I don't want to keep working in these small jobs that I have been doing for the past several years. Yes, I can always teach...but I HAVE to get away from that for a little while. So no surprise...the tears have come over that.
Just a few more days of this stress and it will all be over. I will either be graduating in May OR I will be coming back in the fall to retake my tests and go through this all over again. Let's hope for the first option.